Emergency! Please Help!

I really hope this gets to you in time! During a trip to Brookline,
Massachusetts I was robbed — robbed of all poetic impulse. All of the
brilliance of language was stolen from me. My poetic license was taken as
well. I need your help encountering English once again.

I know the unusual diction of this note, the unusual nature of this
request, the fact that I am using more than one exclamation point per
email, and the fact that it is being sent to everyone in my address book
must make it seem like my account was hacked, but I assure you, that’s
not the case!

I’ve made contact with my library but the best they could do was to send
me a poem the mail which will take 3-5 working days to arrive here. I need
you to lend me some words to sort my self out of this predicament.

It would be a great help if you’d just quickly reply (you can use that
“comment” mechanism, below) with a single memorable phrase, or some sort
of short litany or list, or the current contents of your copy and paste
buffer, or a Google search result, or a paragraph, joke, riddle, or even

I’ll pay you back as soon as I can!



67 Replies to “Emergency! Please Help!”

  1. Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.

  2. Sia! Strofe, ultima dea! Ancor dona al tuo poeta la sfolgorante idea, la fiamma consueta. Io, a te, mentre tu vivida a me sgorghi dal cuore, darò per rima ul gelido spiro d’in uom che muore.

  3. For half a century
    Poetry was
    The solemn fools’ paradise.
    Until I came along
    With my rollercoaster.
    Get on it, if you want.
    But here’s my disclaimer: you might get off
    Bleeding through your mouths and noses.

    Nicanor Parra (1914-)

  4. The knowledge lives in webs and networks as it has in books. [Weinberger, not I]

  5. Responding to stadtgorilla:

    All hope abandon, ye who enter in!
    – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1882)
    All hope abandon, ye who enter here
    – Henry Francis Cary (1805–1814)
    Leave every hope, ye who enter!
    – Charles Eliot Norton (1891)
    Leave all hope, ye that enter
    – Carlyle-Wicksteed (1932)
    Lay down all hope, you that go in by me.
    – Dorothy L. Sayers (1949)
    Abandon all hope, ye who enter here
    – John Ciardi (1954)
    Abandon every hope, you who enter.
    – Charles S. Singleton (1970)
    No room for hope, when you enter this place
    – C. H. Sisson (1980)
    Abandon every hope, who enter here.
    – Allen Mandelbaum (1982)
    Abandon all hope, you who enter here.
    – Robert Pinsky (1993)
    Abandon every hope, all you who enter
    – Mark Musa (1995)
    Abandon every hope, you who enter.
    – Robert M. Durling (1996)

    Verbatim, the line translates as “Leave (lasciate) every (ogne) hope (speranza), ye (voi) that (ch’) enter (intrate).”
    –{According to someone at wikipedia.org}

  6. She wanted to test her husband.
    She knew exactly what to do:
    A pseudonym, to fool him.
    She couldn’t have made a worse move.

    She sent him scented letters,
    And he received them with a strange delight.
    Just like his wife
    But how she was before the tears,
    And how she was before the years flew by,
    And how she was when she was beautiful.

  7. Trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, reverent.

  8. Nobody slows down for the school zone in front of the Montessori.

  9. The lovely woman-child Kaa was mercilessly chained to the cruel post of the warrior-chief Beast, with his barbarous tribe now stacking wood at her nubile feet, when the strong, clear voice of the poetic and heroic Handsomas roared, “Flick your Bic, crisp that chick, and you’ll feel my steel through your last meal.”

  10. She’s got it, yeah baby she’s got it. I’m your Venus, I’m your fire. What’s your desire?

  11. If you asked him, the difference between whispering waves and wavering whispers wasn’t worth explaining.

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