The following documents are the ones given to student subjects and story evaluators in the course of the study. The "Survey" pages are the beginning and ending questionnaires given to the students. Different final surveys were given to the different groups, since it would reveal little if children in the word processor group were asked "Who is Eddie?" The "Instructions for Evaluators" page contains all the instruction given to the two story evaluators.
I have some new computer software I would like you to try. This software is for writing stories. It's supposed to make it easier to write good stories. I would like to look at the stories you write with it so I can see how well the software works.
Here are some questions for you that will also help me figure out how well the software works. Please circle the letter that best answers each question. It would help me if you answer them, you don't have to. This isn't a class assignment. If you do answer, I won't show your survey to anybody else.
1. Have you used computers before?
A. Nope.
B. Yes, but just a little.
C. Yes, once in a while.
D. Yes, a lot.
E. Yes, all the time!
2. Do you have a computer at home?
A. Yes.
B. No.
3. What have you used computers for? Circle ALL the things you've done on computers.
A. Computer games.
B. Writing Stories.
C. E-mail.
D. Drawing pictures.
E. Learning to type.
F. Looking at things on the Internet.
G. Other things: (Write in the other things.)
4. Do you like to use computers?
A. No, I hate computers.
B. Not very much.
C. I like computers a little bit.
D. Yes, they are pretty fun.
E. Yes, I love using computers.
5. Have you written stories before?
A. No.
B. A few.
C. Yes, some.
D. Yes, many.
E. I've written very, very many.
6. Do you like to write stories?
A. No, I hate writing stories.
B. Not very much.
C. I like writing stories a little bit.
D. Yes, writing stories is pretty fun.
E. Yes, I love to write stories.
7. How do you write them?
A. I tell them and somebody writes them down.
B. I use a pen or pencil.
C. I type them on a computer.
D. Some other way: (Write in what way.)
Thanks for helping me by using the software in your story writing! If you would also answer these questions, it would help me figure out how well the software works. Please circle the letter that best answers each question, or write the answer under the question. Again, you don't have to answer the questions if you don't want to, and I won't show your survey to anybody else.
1. Did you like the program you used for writing?
A. No! It was lame.
B. No, it wasn't that great.
C. It was OK - nothing special.
D. Yes, it was pretty good.
E. Yes! It was really great!
2. What was your favorite thing about it?
3. What did you really NOT like?
4. Would you want to use that program at home?
A. No way!
B. Not really.
C. Maybe, once in a while.
D. Yes, I'd use it some.
E. Yes! I'd use it a lot!
5. How could that program be better?
6. Did that program make it easier for you to write stories?
A. Yes.
B. No, it was hard writing with the program.
C. No, writing stories was already easy for me.
7. Do you think it made it easier for the other children in your group to write stories?
A. Yes.
B. No.
Thanks for helping me by using the software in your story writing! If you would also answer these questions, it would help me figure out how well the software works. Please circle the letter that best answers each question, or write the answer under the question. Again, you don't have to answer the questions if you don't want to, and I won't show your survey to anybody else.
1. Did you like the program you used for writing?
A. No! It was lame.
B. No, it wasn't that great.
C. It was OK - nothing special.
D. Yes, it was pretty good.
E. Yes! It was really great!
2. What was your favorite thing about it?
3. What did you really NOT like?
4. Would you want to use that program at home?
A. No way!
B. Not really.
C. Maybe, once in a while.
D. Yes, I'd use it some.
E. Yes! I'd use it a lot!
5. How could that program be better?
6. Did that program make it easier for you to write stories?
A. Yes.
B. No, it was hard writing with the program.
C. No, writing stories was already easy for me.
7. Do you think it made it easier for the other children in your group to write stories?
A. Yes.
B. No.
8. What does "revision" mean?
9. What are two things you think about when you plan a story?
Thanks for helping me by using the software in your story writing! If you would also answer these questions, it would help me figure out how well the software works. Please circle the letter that best answers each question, or write the answer under the question. Again, you don't have to answer the questions if you don't want to, and I won't show your survey to anybody else.
1. Did you like the program you used for writing?
A. No! It was lame.
B. No, it wasn't that great.
C. It was OK - nothing special.
D. Yes, it was pretty good.
E. Yes! It was really great!
2. What was your favorite thing about it?
3. What did you really NOT like?
4. Would you want to use that program at home?
A. No way!
B. Not really.
C. Maybe, once in a while.
D. Yes, I'd use it some.
E. Yes! I'd use it a lot!
5. How could that program be better?
6. Did that program make it easier for you to write stories?
A. Yes.
B. No, it was hard writing with the program.
C. No, writing stories was already easy for me.
7. Do you think it made it easier for the other children in your group to write stories?
A. Yes.
B. No.
8. What does "revision" mean?
9. What are two things you think about when you plan a story?
10. Who is Eddie?
The packet has 36 pages of story writing from children in grades 2 and 3. Children were given 40 minutes and simply asked to "write stories." No subject matter was specified, and it was not specified whether the stories should be fictional or personal. They were told it was OK if they did not finish. Some did finish their stories. Others wrote the beginning of a story, and a few wrote parts of more than one story. Everything they had written at the end of the session is included on the pages. Only the names of the writers have been removed for the stories in this packet.
I would like you to evaluate the story writing samples. I ask that you first read through the whole packet to get an idea of the range of writing the children have done. Then, please look at each page individually and rank the writing sample there from 1 to 10. 1 represents the lowest story writing quality of the group, and 10 represents the highest story writing quality. These rankings are in comparison to the other stories in the group. So there should be at least one page - the worst - that is ranked 1, and at least one page that is ranked 10. A story that is of about average quality compared to others in the group should be ranked 5 or 6 (since 5.5 would be halfway between 1 and 10). When you finish, compare a few stories that differ by only one point to check that your evaluation is consistent throughout the sample.
I ask that you evaluate how good the writing sample is in terms of story writing. Please select your own specific criteria for evaluation, based on what you think are qualities of good story writing. I only ask that you use criteria that are neutral with regard to specific subject matter. In other words, writing about a subject which is of personal interest to you should not be ranked higher than writing about a subject that is personally displeasing to you, if the writing is in otherwise equal in quality. I will ask you when you are done what criteria you used.
I will explain to you how these rankings are being used in my analysis after I have received your evaluations and when am sure I will have no further questions about your evaluation criteria or your individual rankings.
If you have any questions about how the evaluation should be done, please email me with those questions and I will reply to both of you.
As I have already mentioned, I greatly appreciate your help.
These are transcripts of what some StoryStages and EddieEdit users wrote during part of the study. For the two StoryStages sessions, this includes the prompts and written responses for both planning and revision. For the three EddieEdit sessions, this includes the planning and revision conversations with Eddie. In all cases, the finished story is also included. The interactions each spanned more than one day's writing session.
STORYSTAGES
PLANNING
1. What are some things you would like to write a story about? List a few things that come to mind.
Murder,killing,talk of murder,drugs,alcohol,Sex
2. Now, look at the list above and pick some ideas. Decide what your story is going to be about. It can be about more than one thing.
Teen gets kicked out when 16,gets revenge by murder.
3. If you like, give your story a working title. You can change the title later if you want to.
TeenKill
4. Who is going to be the main person in the story - the main character?
Robert,the teen
5. If there are going to be other characters, who are they?
Charles M Shauz and Jessica M Shauz,the millionares,Franz,the butcher,Matt,the butler.
6. Where will the story happen?
Washington D.C.
7. What does this place look like?
After WW2,how do you think it would look?
8. When will the story take place?
1944,after WW2
9. What will be happening at the beginning of the story?
Robert gets born, and he has a horriable apperance
10. What will happen to the characters during the story, or what problem will come up for the characters to deal with?
They get killed,ETC,and Robert comes face-to-face with a family problem:Love
11. What are they going to do? How will they act when that happens, or how will they solve the problem?
Remembering themselves as young,and the characters can't do anything;they are dead
12. Why will the characters do that?
I already told you:They can't do nuttin'!!
13. When the main event in the story happens, how do the characters feel?
DO YOU HONESTLY WANT ME TO GO NUTS???!!!
14. How will the story end?
Robert meets his real father and gets married to Annie
15. How do the characters feel at the end of the story?
Melencholy.
REVISING
[did not enter revision mode]
STORY
[no story text written]
STORYSTAGES
PLANNING
1. What are some things you would like to write a story about? List a few things that come to mind.
fantisy,history,fiction,nonfiction,An adventure
2. Now, look at the list above and pick some ideas. Decide what your story is going to be about. It can be about more than one thing.
fiction,an adventure,history
3. If you like, give your story a working title. You can change the title later if you want to.
4. Who is going to be the main person in the story - the main character?
Me
5. If there are going to be other characters, who are they?
My mom & some creatures that lived in the past centures
6. Where will the story happen?
Inside a galaxy-like thing that scientists made up otherwise earth
7. What does this place look like?
[no reply to this prompt or any later promtps]
REVISING
[no reply to any revision prompts]
STORY
Trapped in the 4 dimensions
One fine evening scientists attached the're little iventary workshop to our house we heard a lot of ka-chink's & crank's it was awlful & the saying "one fine evening" wasn't relly fine.That night I hardly got any sleep I went downstairs to see what all the racket was.All the sudden a big machine came sweeping into the stairs it grabbed me & through me into a big whirlpool in the house & the last thing I remembered was a big machine grabbing me with it's mechanichal arms it was horrible{this time}I yelled HHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my ears were shrinking ,my arms were shrinking & my legs were stuck together I was nothing but a flat line the machine was charging at me at lightning speed & the machine also turned into a flat line I made my feet into a triangle & swordfighted .I looked around 'There is the whirlpool"I thoght.without thinking I jumped in I'd do anything to get out of there . But to my suprise I was still flat but I wasn't a line but I could turn into anything I wanted to be & that was better I turned into a flat vicous virus " asta la vista amigos" I said just then I rememberd it was a machine " Oh man" I said" I got prepared for nothing now I have to start all over agian" .This time the machine wasn't a machine just a wierd thing with buttons walking around in circles.I laughed & said "dumb" I wanted to do something but all I wanted to see was the whirlpool to reapear I'm stuck here for good this time I thought but then I thought of what to do could I draw?I thought.I became a FLAT pencil & began to draw the thing with buttons was still cranking around maybe if I destored the device{which was the machine}I could-then the whirlpool was there I jumped in the whirlpool the machine followed finelly I was 3D & so was the machine "this sucks am I suupposed to learn a lesson here"I began drawing again I was just in the middle of my picture about my adventures the machine beeping happilly like R2-D2 "he always thinks he someone else"I said. "hey machine I'm going to teach you a leason you will never forget"I went charging at the machine at lightning speed when the machine held out his machanical arm without at me & I got hit on the forehead & I fell down to the ground right on my picture.......an hour later I was asleep & the machine picked me up the picture stuck to my back the machine shook me & I woke up & the picture fell down & when I looked down I saw that the picture tolltely damoleshed & destrored I began drawing again this time I drew a whirlpool & my picture became ALIVE!!!!! I got sucked in so did the machine I was myself again "I must be in the 4th dimension"I thought this time I tried something I never tried before but it was worth a try.I tried to get to the exstensions of the machine but I figerd out that I would be trapped if I pulled out the exstensions because it was inside the machine which lead to the part of what created the time-like-sort of planet thingy that would domolesh the human inside it so I didn't do it.I looked at my picture,it didn't have a lot of detail to it so I drew some more I missed my mom & dad so I looked at my watch it was7:30"my mom &dad should want me home by now "I thought then I looked at the machine it was doing somthing funny it looked like it was tring to talk"wierd"I said the whirlpool was right on the bottem of me & the machine & I returned home safe & sound "where were you Mark?"
EDDIEEDIT
PLANNING
EDDIE: Hi! I'm Eddie. What's your name?
USER: [student's name]
EDDIE: Nice to meet you. I'm the editor of my elementary school's magazine. I help people write stories. Do you like to write?
USER: YES
EDDIE: Great! I like writing too. Before I write a story, I plan it. First, I think of all my ideas. What things do you want to write about?
USER: A GUY CALLED FREAKAZOID
EDDIE: OK. The next thing I do is decide what my story will be about. What things from your list do you want to write about?
USER: A GUY NAMED FREAKAZOID
EDDIE: Now that you know what your story is about, it's a good time to pick a title. You can change the title later if you want. What's your title?
USER: FREAKAZOID
EDDIE: OK. Now we can talk about parts of the story. Now do you want to talk about the characters, the place, the time, or the things that happen?
USER: THE CHARACTERS
EDDIE: Who is going to be the main person in the story - the main character?
USER: FREAKAZOID
EDDIE: Are there going to be other characters? Who are the other characters?
USER: CYB FACE
EDDIE: Now do you want to talk about the place, the time, or the things that happen?
USER: THEPLACE
EDDIE: Sorry, I didn't understand. Now do you want to talk about the place, the time, or the things that happen?
USER: THE PLACE
EDDIE: Where is the story going to happen?
USER: BROOK LINE
EDDIE: What does this place look like?
USER: MANY TALL BILLDINS
EDDIE: Now do you want to talk about the time, or the things that happen?
USER: THE TIME
EDDIE: When will the story happen?
USER: 2000
EDDIE: At the beginning of the story, what will be happening?
USER: I DON`T KNOW
EDDIE: What problem is going to come up for the characters to deal with?
USER: I DON`T KNOW
EDDIE: How will the characters solve the problem?
USER: I DON`T KNOW
EDDIE: How will the story end?
USER: I DON`T KNOW
EDDIE: Why will the characters do the things they do to solve the main problem in the story?
USER: I DON`T KNOW
EDDIE: In the middle of the story, when the problem comes up, how do the characters feel?
USER: WERID
EDDIE: How will the characters feel in the end?
USER: FINE
EDDIE: I think we talked about all the parts of a story! I've got go for now. Go ahead and start writing. You can look back at the plan you made.
USER: OK
REVISING
[did not enter revision mode]
STORY
Hi I`m Freakazoid this is how it startid. Hey come back here Cyb face never!!!!!!!.& then I said oh yes you will. Kyb face. Thats cyb face you niingcapoop!!! Don`t call me a ningcompoop you ideeit!@#$%^^&*!@. Ok freekazoid. o freekout. Thats the freekcall that somins the freek mobeele. Then cyb face was piked up by his robot hot roders and drov intothe ochin the end
EDDIEEDIT
PLANNING
EDDIE:Hi! I'm Eddie. What's your name?
USER:[student's name]
EDDIE:Nice to meet you. I'm the editor of my elementary school's magazine. I help people write stories. Do you like to write?
USER:yes
EDDIE:Great! I like writing too. Before I write a story, I plan it. First, I think of all my ideas. What things do you want to write about?
USER:pepole that are lost in cyber space
EDDIE:OK. The next thing I do is decide what my story will be about. What things from your list do you want to write about?
USER:Action
EDDIE:Now that you know what your story is about, it's a good time to pick a title. You can change the title later if you want. What's your title?
USER:LOST IN CYBER SPACE
EDDIE:OK. Now we can talk about parts of the story. Now do you want to talk about the characters, the place, the time, or the things that happen?
USER:YES
EDDIE:Sorry, I didn't understand. Now do you want to talk about the characters, the place, the time, or the things that happen?
USER:yes i do
EDDIE:Sorry, I didn't understand. Now do you want to talk about the characters, the place, the time, or the things that happen?
USER:Y
EDDIE:Sorry, I didn't understand. Now do you want to talk about the characters, the place, the time, or the things that happen?
USER:Yes
EDDIE:Sorry, I didn't understand. Now do you want to talk about the characters, the place, the time, or the things that happen?
USER:ok
EDDIE:Sorry, I didn't understand. Now do you want to talk about the characters, the place, the time, or the things that happen?
USER:characters
EDDIE:Who is going to be the main person in the story - the main character?
USER:Zeak
EDDIE:Are there going to be other characters? Who are the other characters?
USER:Zack mike spike
EDDIE:Now do you want to talk about the place, the time, or the things that happen?
USER:the time
EDDIE:When will the story happen?
USER:1999
EDDIE:Now do you want to talk about the place, or the things that happen?
USER:theplace
EDDIE:Sorry, I didn't understand. Now do you want to talk about the place, or the things that happen?
USER:the place
EDDIE:Where is the story going to happen?
[conversation continues but saved information ends here]
REVISING
EDDIE:Well, let's talk about what changes might be good to make. Let me ask about the beginning of your story. Do you think your first sentence is really good?
USER:yes
EDDIE:Great! If you make it better it will be really super. If you want to, try to write one that is even better.
USER:make a new sentence
EDDIE:OK, now let's talk about the end. That's what the reader will remember the most! Do you think the ending is really good?
USER:yes
EDDIE:Great! But if you make it better it could be the best story ending ever. If you want to, try to write and ending that is even better.
USER:make a new sentence
EDDIE:OK, now let's talk about characters - and how they feel and think. I'm sure you wrote about what the characters do. Did you also write about how they feel, and what they are thinking?
USER:yes
EDDIE:That's very good! That's what makes characters seem real. If you want to, you can write more about how they think and feel.
USER:no I don`t
EDDIE:OK. Now, read your story. Is everything that happens very clear? Sometimes it helps to add some sentences to explain. That can make the story easier to understand. What could you add?
USER:I don`t know
EDDIE:Well, that's about all I can tell you. Go over to the story window now and make all the changes you want to make. Then, come back and tell me: How many changes did you make?
USER:ok
EDDIE:Any changes you make can make the story better. I have to go now. I hope I helped you a little. Bye!
STORY
One day in bostin at the gallery Zeak Zack and mike were chasing spike with there pistil`s. They went up 10 flors and beet spike to the 10th flor by elavader. They shot up the elavader door and ran out then some polece and FBI ajents came in. They shot at Zeak but they missed him. They ran up to the roof. Then they were in cyber space. They juped of a computer chip into the bit streem onto some cerkit speeders. The cop`s and F.B.I. pepole crashed into the wall. Then Zeak shot Spike down and throo a rope a round Spike. Then Spike was throun out of cyber space and into jall.
The End
EDDIEEDIT
PLANNING
EDDIE: Hi! I'm Eddie. What's your name?
USER: hurrr
EDDIE: Nice to meet you. I'm the editor of my elementary school's magazine. I help people write stories. Do you like to write?
USER: vf
EDDIE: Well - Hey, Billy does not know more dinosaur names than me! Sorry, someone else was talking to me. What were we talking about?
USER: g
EDDIE: I think we were talking about writing stories. I like to plan my stories. First, I think of all my ideas. What things do you want to write about?
USER: ty
EDDIE: OK. The next thing I do is decide what my story will be about. What things from your list do you want to write about?
REVISING
EDDIE: Hi again! I guess you wrote your story. I have a few more questions that might help you. Have you ever made changes to make one of your stories better?
USER: ghj
EDDIE: Well, let's talk about what changes might be good to make. Let me ask about the beginning of your story. Do you think your first sentence is really good?
USER: Yes
EDDIE: Great! If you make it better it will be really super. If you want to, try to write one that is even better.
USER: ok
EDDIE: OK, now let's talk about the end. That's what the reader will remember the most! Do you think the ending is really good?
USER: rt\
EDDIE: Um ... sorry, I didn't understand. But anyway, you can always try to make the ending better. If you want to, try to write a better ending now.
USER: khj
EDDIE: OK, now let's talk about characters - and how they feel and think. I'm sure you wrote about what the characters do. Did you also write about how they feel, and what they are thinking?
USER: fjg
EDDIE: Um, er, well, if you did't write anything about how your characters feel, your characters won't seem real. Try writing something about how the main character feels at the beginning or at the end.
USER: lk
EDDIE: OK. Now, read your story. Is everything that happens very clear? Sometimes it helps to add some sentences to explain. That can make the story easier to understand. What could you add?
USER: hgf
EDDIE: Well, that's about all I can tell you. Go over to the story window now and make all the changes you want to make. Then, come back and tell me: How many changes did you make?
USER: iuuy
EDDIE: Any changes you make can make the story better. I have to go now. I hope I helped you a little. Bye!
USER: khh
STORY
[name of student in class] and the Science Movie
once [name] was walking along when he saw a sign on the top of the movie thereter. It said:
New film out! Space science!
Coming to a Therter near you
[name] said "I have got to see that" and made a mental note to ask his mom. when he got home and asked his mom said "how about next weekend"? It was monday [name] could hardly hear his anticipation! The movies rating was Five star! In school,[name]'s class was working on thier CAT tests. [name] was looking for a perfect score so he could impress his mom to raise the chances of him watching the movie. That day his 3rd grade was doing the math portion of the test. [name] thought he did prety good the next day was tuesday and when he got home, he did his homework and played Civilization 2 on his computer. when it was time to go to bed [name] could hardly sleep because he was so exited about the movie. When Saturday fianaly came, [name] saw the movie it was great.
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