It is a rare snowy night in LA. The snow has stopped falling, and all is quiet on a small suburban street. Inside the house, a young man argues with an older woman (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["Please Mom, I really need it!"] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["You aren't getting another cent from me until you've paid me back!" ] Defiant, she turns and begins to walk away. The man picks up a candlestick... //[[CRACK]]//(align:"=><=")+(box:"X=")+(size:2)[McGumbo] [[Begin]] [[About]]A man opens the door. He is well dressed, but looks like he hasn't slept well and is quite shaken. (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Uh, hello sir. My name is Lieutenant McGumbo, I'm with the LAPD. We got a call this morning about a murder and robbery?"] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["Oh thank goodness you're here. Please, come in Lieutenant." ] [[Ask what happened]] [[Examine the scene]]The snow is pristine. It stopped falling around 6:00 last night and hasn't started again since. The only disturbances in the snow are on the walkway up the steps and some glass shards by one of the windows, which is busted. [[Knock on the door]] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Well I guess we should get right into it. Can you please show me to the scene of the crime?"] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["Right, of course. Please come this way." ] You step into the living room and a strong chill overcomes you. A body lays face down in the floor with a head wound. A bloody candlestick lay nearby. The main window is smashed open and glass lies scattered on the pristine snow outside. Cold air pours in from the open window. [[Gee, what happened to the window?]] [[Examine the body]](align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Sir, would you mind telling me what happened?" ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["I came home this morning and found her like this. I called the police right away. Thank you so much for coming quickly"] [[Were you and your mother close?]] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Gee, what happened to the window?"] The main window is smashed open and glass lies scattered on the pristine snow outside. Cold air pours in from the open window. (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["Isn't it obvious Lieutenant? And here I thought you were the one investigating! Clearly, some perpetrator smashed this window last night, climbed inside the house and then smashed in my poor mother's head. He must have then snatched her cash and jewelry and fled out the same way. The door was locked when I arrived this morning."] [[Gee that's funny...]] (if: not $gf is true and not $nft is true)[ [[why exactly were you coming this morning?]]] [[Oh sure, that figures. I tell you, the thing about windows...]]You crouch down and take a look. Yep sure looks like a head wound was the cause of death. (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Gee whiz, yeah that really looks like a real nasty wound." ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["I can't believe some brute killed my mother." ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Well sir, it looks like she probably died very quickly and painlessly. I'm terribly sorry for your loss of course. The forensic guys should be over here in a little bit, they can take all the uh, necessary photographs and whatnot and we'll get your mother a sheet and everything. Um, I wanted to ask you..." ] [[Do you have a light?]] [[Were you and your mother close?]] [[Gee, what happened to the window?]] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Y'know, I'm terribly sorry to hear about your loss. Losing a loved one like that is always hard. Were you close with your mother?" ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["As a matter of fact, we were quite close. I have been living here with her for quite some time." ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Oh, I see. No, that makes sense to me then. Say, that makes me wonder..." ] (if: not $nft is true)[ [[How long have you been living with your mother?]] ](if: not $gf is true)[ [[Where were you last night?]] ](align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Yeah, I was just wondering. Correct me if I get this wrong, but the story that dispatch told me on the way over here was son arrives at his mother's house and finds her dead so he calls the police. Is that more or less what happened?" ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["Well, yes I suppose that is a relatively accurate summary of what happened. Does anything sound out of order in that Lieutenant?" ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Oh well, it's probably nothing you see. I was just wondering why it was that you were coming to you mother's this morning? I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm sure you're a very kind caring son but just in the interest of being thorough I figured I oughta tie up every loose end--" ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["Why certainly Lieutenant! I suppose it was only a matter of time before the investigators asked. The fact of the matter is that I live here with my mother. So, of course it was quite natural for me to be coming home this morning!" ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Oh, I see. No, that makes sense to me then. Say, that makes me wonder..." ] (if: not $nft is true)[ [[How long have you been living with your mother?]]] (if: not $gf is true)[ [[Where were you last night?]] ]The main window is smashed open and glass lies scattered on the pristine snow outside. Cold air pours in from the open window. (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Hmm you're probably right. That would make sense. It's just...hmm, isn't that odd though?"] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["Whatever do you mean Lieutenant?"] [[Well, just look at the glass shards]] [[I mean, doesn't the snow seem a little funny to you?]](align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Oh sure, that figures. I tell ya, the thing about windows, they're always breaking. My nephew--that's my sister's son mind you, he's always breaking windows at their place. I don't know how they deal with that I tell ya. But then again, y'know how kids be, always throwing balls and running around and such. Anyways, what were we talking about?" ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["Lieutenant McGumbo? Can we please stay focused on //this// window?" ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Oh, yeah, that's right. I wanted to ask you..." ] [[ There's something about your window story that doesn't quite add up|Gee that's funny...]] (if: not $gf is true and not $nft is true)[ [[why exactly were you coming this morning?]] ](align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["I mean, now correct me if I'm wrong, but shouldn't the glass be on the inside? If we imagine our perp, he walks up to the window, he's still outside the house mind you he hasn't been able to make it inside yet--thats the whole reason we're talking about this shebang after all. Anyways, he walks up to the window, SMASH, but the glass falls //inside// the house, no?"] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")[Hmmm...Ah, yes I see now! Well, that certainly is observant of you lieutenant, you're brighter than maybe I first thought! Surely though, you see the obvious explanation to this?"] [[Well, gee, I don't think I do. What actually happened then?]] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["My, lieutenant you are simply priceless! By your own logic it is obvious what happened. If the glass is on the other side of where the killer was standing, then clearly they smashed this window before leaving!"] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Hmm I suppose that seems like a pretty straightforward explanation. Silly I didn't think of that!" ] [[Examine the window again]] [[Something still doesn't quite make sense though]](align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["I mean, doesn't the snow seem a little funny to you?" ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["Why, I'm not sure what you mean McGumbo. The snow is pristine!" ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Exactly, see that's the thing that's bother me about it..." ] [[Well, here, I'll show you what I mean |Something still doesn't quite make sense though]] The main window is smashed open and glass lies scattered on the pristine snow outside. Cold air pours in from the open window. [[Something still doesn't quite make sense though]] The main window is smashed open and glass lies scattered on the pristine snow outside. Cold air pours in from the open window. (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Yeah this whole thing doesn't quite make sense to me" ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["Ah, always asking questions are we Lieutenant?"] "Well, uh y'know sir it's my job. I gotta be thorough otherwise my boss will chew my ear off when I get back. I certainly don't mean to bother you though." (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["Yes, yes I understand. I am a very busy man though so please get to the point. What was your question?"] [[Do you happen to know what the weather was like last night?]] [[Well doesn't the snow seem funny here?]](align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["The weather? Why would I happen to know that? I will give you a tip though, using my excellent powers of deduction I can look around and conclude that it was snowing last night!" ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["You know, it's funny you should say that. It certainly did snow yesterday, I mean..." *sweeping gesture* "It certainly has snowed recently, there's no denying that. It's just sir that for me to do my job properly I really need to dig into the details and try to wrap up every loose end. I'm sure it's nothing, it's just..." ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["Well what is it Lt.? I don't see what the detailed weather patterns have to do with the murder of my mother!"] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["It won't take more than a second, I can just use my phone here. Man, I tell you this thing is really incredible isn't it? I can just pull it out of my pocket and look up practically anything I want! I mean, it's got its problems for sure. My sister says that her son is always on that tick tock app, says it's turning his brain the oatmeal. I try to stay out of the family drama y'know but it really does make you wonder..." ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["LIEUTENANT, can we PLEASE move this along?! I have much to get done today!" ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Oh, yessir, of course. There I go getting sidetracked again. Anyways...Yep, there it is! See it looks like it actually stopped snowing around 6:00PM yesterday and hasn't snowed any more since." ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["Well, McGumbo, I hardly see the importance of that. I'm afraid your little excursion has done little for the investigation. It snowed recently, what does it matter?"] [[Oh, well it's very important sir]] The main window is smashed open and glass lies scattered on the pristine snow outside. Cold air pours in from the open window. (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["I mean, the snow here, I don't think it quite matches up with your assessment that someone broke this window as means to get into and out of the house. It's just such a funny little thing..." ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["I don't have the slightest clue what you're talking about Lieutenant. Would you PLEASE tell me what it is you see that concerns you so?"] [[Well, it's actually what I don't see]] [[The glass doesn't make any sense to me]](align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["What, pray tell, is so important, Lt.? Do you see something suspicious about the sene where the criminal entered?"] The main window is smashed open and glass lies scattered on the pristine snow outside. Cold air pours in from the open window. [[Well, it's actually what I don't see]] [[The glass doesn't make any sense to me]](align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Well, it's actually what I don't see. I mean, if it stopped snowing before the murder happened, then there should be footprints in the snow, shouldn't there? But it's pristine! I mean, I just cannot figure that one out. It's a puzzler I tell ya." ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["...Hmm. That is a good point Lieutenant. I hadn't considered that." ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Yeah, y'know it's the little things that always trip up these crooks." ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["Now hold on a minute, isn't it possible that some snow fell out of a branch above and filled in any tracks that the criminal left?" ] [[No, I don't think that's possible sir]]The main window is smashed open and glass lies scattered on the pristine snow outside. Cold air pours in from the open window. (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["You see sir, the glass here. It's sitting //on top// of the snow. So I figure that means it hasn't snowed since the window was broken." ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["Yes McGumbo, you just spent a good deal of time convincing me of that with your cell phone!" ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Oh, yeah geez I suppose you're right. You know, sometimes I get so in my head about that sorta thing and forget what I was even talking about in the first place. Where were we?" ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["You were explaining to me WHY the weather was so important to the scene of the crime outside of the window here!"] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Oh yeah! That's right. Thank you for the reminder." ] [[Well, it's actually what I don't see]] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Well, uh no, I don't think that's possible sir." ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["And for what reason?? I think that is a perfectly reasonable possibility!" ] [[The answer is in the rest of the yard sir]] [[The answer is right outside the window sir]]"You see, the thing about footsteps, is that they generally form a trail. But the rest of the yard, even areas without a tree above them are also completely blank of footprints." (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["..." ] "You see, it's always the details that get these criminals. You know, I think this whole window business is just a diversion." (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["What do you mean Lieutenant?" ] "Well, I mean, I thought you were the one with the big brain sir! I think it's pretty clear that whoever the criminal was, they //wanted// us to think that the perp came in and out through the window. But really, that wasn't how they came in." (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["What are you suggesting?" ] "Well, I think they must have simply walked in through the front door. So, I think we can assume that our prepetrator had a key to the door. Boy, I tell you, I wish the criminal were here right now so that he could see that we figured out his foolish attempt to fool us!" (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["...I...see lieutenant. I certainly see why you are on the force! Is there anything else I can help you with today? I would love to see my mother's killer apprehended as quickly as possible." ] (set:$window to true) (if: not ($gf is true and $nft is true))[ [[I have a few other questions if you don't mind]] ] [[I think I've heard all I need. You can help me by coming down to the station]](align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["See, I knew the glass was important somehow! The glass shards are sitting on top of the snow sir. Now, if some big snow dump came right through here, wouldn't the snow have covered up the glass too?" ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["..." ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["You see, it's always the details that get these criminals. You know, I think this whole window business is just a diversion." ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["What do you mean Lieutenant?" ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Well, I mean, I thought you were the one with the big brain sir! I think it's pretty clear that whoever the criminal was, they //wanted// us to think that the perp came in and out through the window. But really, that wasn't how they came in." ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["What are you suggesting?" ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Well, I think they must have simply walked in through the front door. So, I think we can assume that our prepetrator had a key to the door. Boy, I tell you, I wish the criminal were here right now so that he could see that we figured out his foolish attempt to fool us!" ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["...I...see lieutenant. I certainly see why you are on the force! Is there anything else I can help you with today? I would love to see my mother's killer apprehended as quickly as possible." ] (set:$window to true) (if: not ($gf is true and $nft is true))[ [[I have a few other questions if you don't mind]]] [[I think I've heard all I need. You can help me by coming down to the station]](align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Well, I do have a few other questions if you don't mind" ] [[why exactly were you coming this morning?]] [[Were you and your mother close?]] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["I think I've heard all I need. Sir, you can help me by coming down to the station." ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["What on God's green Earth is that supposed to mean?? Are you accusing me of killing my OWN mother??" ] [[I'm afraid so sir. Please come with me]] (if: not ($gf is true and $nft is true))[ [[Well, we don't need to be so hasty, there's some other things I was hoping you could help me clear up]] ](align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["I'm glad you are coming to your senses Lieutenant. I'm sure I can clear up any and all of your questions. What would you like to ask me about?" ] [[why exactly were you coming this morning?]] [[Were you and your mother close?]] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Approximately how long have you been living with your mother?" ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")[ "Well, to be honest, I never really moved out. It was always very important to me to take care of my mother." ] [[Let me tell you, there's no shame living at home]] [[Oh, so you were caring for your mother?]](align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Where were you last night?" ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["Whatever do you mean?" ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Well, I mean, I just figured...y'know you said you were coming here this morning, so I was wondering what you were up to last night, given that you weren't here at the time of the murder" ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["Oh...Yes, I see that makes perfect sense! I'll be happy to let you know that I was spending time with my girlfriend." ] [[I see, and exactly what part of town does your girlfriend live in?]] [[Right, right sir. Would you happen to have any sort of proof to corroborate that?|Do you have proof?]] [[Oh yes sir, let me tell you, I certainly understand, I mean my wife...]]//"Never interrupt your opponent while he is making a mistake"// -Napoleon Bonaparte (set: $gf to false) (set: $nft to false) (set: $window to false) [[next |Intro]] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Oh yeah, let me tell you, I get that. My wife she doesn't like how much I work but you know I can't get away from the job. Its tough but the job is rewarding. And of course the Missus does understand even if she doesn't like it. I do try to find the time to spend quality time with her though, y'know happy wife happy life and all that..." ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["McGumbo?! Can I help you please?" ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Oh, yeah sure, sorry. Anyways, I was just wondering..." ] [[What part of town does your girlfriend live in?|I see, and exactly what part of town does your girlfriend live in?]] [[Do you have any evidence of your alibi for spending time with your girlfriend last night?|Do you have proof?]](align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["I see, and exactly what part of town does your girlfriend live in?" ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["Well, I must say that I hardly see how that is at all relevant to the matter at hand here" ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Yes sir, well its just that I need make sure I tie up all these loose ends. I'm sure its not important but I hope you understand that I need to ask" ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["I really don't feel the need to provide you with that sort of information McGumbo." ] [[Sir, this is really just a formality, if you could just answer the question that would really help us move this along]] [[Alright, well look, do you have any evidence that can prove you were with her last night?|Do you have proof?]] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Sir, this is really just a formality, if you could just answer the question that would really help speed things up tremendously" ] (text-colour:#e67070)[(align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["Lieutenant, this is absurd and irrelevant! I will not tolerate being talked down to by some half-wit policeman! If you have anything else to ask me you can kindly take it up with my lawyer!" ]] "Woah, woah, I mean no disrespect. Lets just move along here, okay?" [[Do you have any proof you saw your girlfriend last night?|Do you have proof?]](align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Well sir, if you have any proof that what you're claiming about spending the night with your girlfriend, that would really help me tie this up here." ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["Erm..well, yes Lieutenant, I would be happy to provide proof that we were together last night. Here is a photograph from our date last night." ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")[... ... "Sir, I don't see either of you in this photograph, in fact this just looks like a computer screen."] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["My, McGumbo, you cannot be serious! That is a screenshot from our Discord call. It's how all of the young people keep up these days." ] [[Oh, I think my nephew uses that, y'know...]] [[Oh, so you weren't actually together?]](align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Oh yeah, you'know I think my nephew uses that Discord watchmacallit when he plays that video game...forknight? I don't know, I never could get into that stuff. You know, I tried Fifa once, but it wasn't the same thing as playing real soccer. Not that I was ever any good at real sports either..." ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["Yes Lieutenant McGumbo! I'm glad you've come to see that I do in fact have a clear alibi for last night." ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Well, let me see if I can just get this straight though. It's a calling app right?" ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["That is correct." ] [[Oh, so you weren't actually together?]] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Now, wait a minute, I thought you were with your girlfriend? Was it just a voice call?" ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["Why, McGumbo you are a boomer. I wouldn't expect you to understand the complexities of youth romance. Now is there anything else I can help you with?" ] (set: $gf to true) [[Well, now that you mention it, I did want to ask...]] [[I think I've head all I need. Please come down with me sir]](align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Well, uh actually sir. Now that you mention it, I did want to ask..."] (if:$window is not true)[ [[What happened to the window?|Gee, what happened to the window?]]] (if:$nft is not true)[ [[How long have you been living with your mother?]]] [[Actually, y'know, forget it. I think I've gotten all of my questions answered|I think I've head all I need. Please come down with me sir]](align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["I think I've heard all I need. Sir, you can help me by coming down to the station." ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["What on God's green Earth is that supposed to mean?? Are you accusing me of killing my own mother??" ] [[I'm afraid so sir. Please come with me]] [[Well, now that you mention it, I did want to ask...]] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Oh, righty me. Well, let me tell you there is no shame in living at home. You know back when I was in my younger days, before I had met Mrs. McGumbo I still lived at home. Saved tons of money I tell you what. Not that I could have afforded my own place if I wanted to. And especially for younger people these days I don't know how you folks do it! I mean, lots of people complain about the uh, the big developers and investment groups, y'know the Blackrocks and such. I'm sure they're part of the problem, no doubt but just the other day I was reading a fascinating, fascinating article that was talking about a legitimate housing shortage, of course it's all wrapped up in the single-family housing zoning and it's all quite complex. I mean, we really live in a society that.." ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["Let me stop you right there McGumbo! Your attempts to make me feel better for living with my mother may be kind but I assure you they are unneccesary. I am quite capable of renting, or even buying, my own accomodations. The simple fact is that I was living with my mother as her health was starting to deteriorate and I lived here to help make her life easier." ] [[Oh, so you were caring for your mother?]] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Oh, so you were caring for your mother?" ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["That is correct Lieutentant. I loved my mother very much and I very generously offered to continue living with her to make sure she was always comfortable. The finances really had nothing to do with it. I can assure you of that. I have quite an extensive cryptocurrency portfolio as well as several rare NFTs." ] [[You mean those monkey JPEGs?]] [[Hey aren't those things mostly worthless these days?]] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["An...NFT? Is that those monkey JPEGs I keep hearing about? My cousin Lou keeps telling me that it's the next big thing but I really can't wrap my head around it." ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["Well, Lieutenant, they aren't JPEGs but rather an immutable token that exists on a blockchain, forever proving that I am the rightful owner of the monkey picture! They are quite valuable." ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Wow, golly. It sure seems like a wonderful new technology. You must be very lucky to have invest early. Oh, sorry! What am I saying, you must be a big braniac to understand all that stuff it's no wonder you got so rich." ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["Yes, well luck certainly has little to do with it! It's not too late for you either McGumbo, you could join the future of finance and art!" ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Oh well, y'know I could never figure that sorta thing out. Besides, I'm not much of a gambling man you see. If my wife ever found out I was gambling like that." ] [[Hey aren't those things mostly worthless these days?]] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["I thought I heard something on the radio the other day that those little monkey pictures were worth hardly anything anymore these days. But I'm sure that hasn't caused any financial stress for you, has it?" ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["Oh, why of course not! I can tell you that I am definitely still quite comfortable financially! Now, if there is anything else I can help you with Lieutenant?" ] (set:$nft to true) [[Yeah, I wanted to ask you about...]] [[I think I've heard enough. Please come with me sir]] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["I was just wondering..." ] (if:$window is not true)[[[Can we go take a look at the crime scene? |Gee, what happened to the window?]]] (if:$gf is not true)[ [[Where were you last night?]]] [[Actually, never mind, I think I'm good on questions. Can you please come with me?|I think I've heard enough. Please come with me sir]](align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["I think I've heard all I need. Sir, you can help me by coming down to the station." ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["What on God's green Earth is that supposed to mean?? Are you accusing me of killing my own mother??" ] [[I'm afraid so sir. Please come with me]] [[Well maybe you can still help me clear a few things up|Yeah, I wanted to ask you about...]] (size:2)[(text-style:"sway")[C R A C K]] The woman falls. The man quickly smashes out the main window, grabs some cash and jewelry, then flees out into the night. [[McGumbo]]You are responding to a call that came in early this morning about a murder and burglary at a small suburban home. You arrive on the scene. It is a quiet, cold morning. [[Investigate the exterior]] [[Knock on the door]]By Ari Grayzel, 2022. Made with Twine. Heavily inspired by Ace Attorney and Columbo [[Back|McGumbo]] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["I'm afraid I'm deadly serious sir. I'm going to ask you to come down to the station with me please." ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")[(text-colour:#dd9d9d)["You have no idea what you're doing McGumbo! It is completely absurd to suggest that I killed my mother and I will not tolerate being treated this way by some second-rate local cop with a name that sounds like a fast food item from Louisana! You know nothing! Do you have even a scrap of evidence to implicate me??"] ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["I'm afraid that I have plenty sir." ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["Lieutenant, you are hilarious. You know what they say: means, motive, opportunity. I'll give you means, I'm quite strong after all. I easily could have caved in my mother's skull like that, but you've got nothing else on me! Go on then, tell me. Did I have a motive to kill my mother?" ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["What did I tell you earlier? It's the little things. The criminals always get sloppy and leave behind details. You wanna know your motive? I'll tell you:" ] [[You always hated her guts, you simply wanted to get rid of her!]] [[You hated being her caretaker and wanted your life back]] [[You needed money, and thought an inheritance was the easiest way to get it]](align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["That's right sir, you needed money and you thought that killing your mother and collecting your inheritance was the easiest way to do it. Plain and simple. And that's why you took your mother's cash and jewelry too, I mean come on, how could a thief possibly know where all of that stuff is?" ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["Why...a thief could have easily searched this whole place upside down! Besides you have no evidence that I needed, money, that's pure speculation!" ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["No sir, I'll tell you why you needed the money:" ] [[Your monkey JPEGs are worthless and you're facing a margin call. I'm sure the blockchain will confirm that for us.]] [[You owe tens of thousands in back taxes. I'm sure the IRS will confirm that for us.]] [[You owe tens of thousands to the Mob. I'm sure our undercover agent will confirm that for us.]](align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["My my, Lieutenant you are an absolute fool! You must have the memory of a goldfish and the brains of a hedgehog if you think that's whats going on here. And to think that my taxes pay your salary!" ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Um, oh jeez. All right, lets try this again..." ] [[I know you killed your mother, I'm deadly serious...|I'm afraid so sir. Please come with me]](align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Yes sir, when you mentioned those monkey JPEGs I had the strangest feeling that I'd heard that those beanie babies had become practically worthless. Now, normally that wouldn't be too big of a deal but I figure, hey, guy lives at home maybe he bought them on borrowed money and now he needs to pay it back! Are you happy with that explanation sir? Oh, and before you answer I should note that I believe that we should be able to look all of this up on that watchamacallit--the uh, block chain. Unless, of course, it were possible to mutate it or something." ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")[(text-colour:#dd9d9d)["Now listen here, McGumbo. This charade is getting on my nerves. You haven't got anything proving that I had the opportunity. After all, I wasn't even here last night!"] ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Well, yeah, about that sir...." ] [["I called the bar you claimed you were at and they didn't see you there last night"]] [["That picture you showed me of your girlfriend was of the two of you on a voice call. That doesn't prove anything"]] [["I called the hospital and they said that they have no record of you staying there last night"]](align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["That picture you showed me of your supposed date night with your girlfriend, that was on a chat app. I know you think all older folks are technically illiterate, but c'mon. You should seriously consider coming up with a better plan next time." ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")[(text-colour:#f35959)["That's all IRRELEVANT. Listen McGUMBO. You should stop this INANE questioning and start looking for the REAL KILLER. I've given you all that you should need to be able to go catch this SICKO. Besides, what about the window!? You haven't been able to explain that, have you?!"] ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Oh that's right sir, the window. You know, I was so busy thinking of all the other incriminating evidence that I forgot all about the window! You'know that was a real kicker. In all my years in the job I'm not sure I've ever seen a frame job done so carelessly. And then to bring it up as if it's your ticket to freedom! Listen, since you've obviously already forgotten, I'll just go ahead and review for you what our little discussion about the window taught us:" ] [[The killer wore size 11 boots, much like you do]] [[The killer was a man about 5' 9", much you are]] [[The killer had a key to the door of the house, much like you do]](align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["That's right. Your little stunt actually proved for us that the killer did in fact NOT use the window. The glass and the snow betrayed you. You couldn't have even gone to the bother of pretending to break in and then flee? Nope, you went half-hearted on the whole thing. I mean jeez louise, you kill your mom, break a window (the wrong way mind you) and then you don't even want to get your toes cold walking through the snow! I mean give me a break!" ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")[(text-colour:red)["YOU...YOU....YOU IMBECILE. I DIDN'T KILL ANYONE!!(text-style:"smear","rumble")[THIS IS RIDICULOUS! INALLMYYEARSONTHISEARTH IHAVENEVERBEENTREATEDSO POORLYDOYOUKNOWWHOIAM ILLHAVEYOUFIREDYOULLSEE YOUWILLREGRETTHIS...] ]] [[continue]]//I arrested the poor kid and brought him in. The DA had a slam dunk conviction. I mean, it was an open and shut case, the kid left enough clues to sink a ship. While the cases might get easier to solve, they don't get any less hard. It comes with the job I guess.//(align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["What on Earth do you mean? I loved my mother very much and there is //zero// evidence to the contrary. She may have been annoying at times but she was never anywhere near as much of a pest as YOU ARE. You can't lock people up on a hunch. You should know that wild accusations like that won't hold up in court!" ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Um, oh jeez. All right, lets try this again. The reason you killed your mother is:" ] [[You hated being her caretaker and wanted your life back]] [[You needed money, and thought an inheritance was the easiest way to get it]](align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["What on Earth do you mean? McGumbo you certainly are quite a buffoon! Yes, my mother needed some care as she got older but I never resented her for it. I dare say that I took much better care of her than you seem to care for your horribly crumpled clothes! I loved my mother very much and there is //zero// evidence to the contrary. You should know that wild accusations like that won't hold up in court!" ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Um, oh jeez. All right, lets try this again. The reason you killed your mother is:" ] [[You always hated her guts, you simply wanted to get rid of her!]] [[You needed money, and thought an inheritance was the easiest way to get it]](align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["The bar? Are you listening to yourself McGumbo?? Perhaps you are projecting good sir! You have been heavily indulging in the drink perhaps and now cannot keep your wits about you? It's no wonder you suspect me when your brain is so clearly sloshed." ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Um, oh jeez. All right, lets try this again. You have no alibi for where you were last night:" ] [["I called the hospital and they said that they have no record of you staying there last night"]] [["That picture you showed me of your girlfriend was of the two of you on a voice call. That doesn't prove anything"]](align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["The hospital? My, Lieutenant, you poor poor man. If anyone here needs a visit to the hospital, its you! You clearly are suffering from some form of amnesia. It's no wonder you suspect me when your brain is so clearly ruffled." ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Um, oh jeez. All right, lets try this again. You have no alibi for where you were last night:" ] [["I called the bar you claimed you were at and they didn't see you there last night"]] [["That picture you showed me of your girlfriend was of the two of you on a voice call. That doesn't prove anything"]] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["McGumbo you make me laugh. Have you considered a career in comedy? I wonder if that cigar of yours isn't laced with something else based on how poor your memory seems to be. If you take even a single look at the window you will see no footprints at all! You are clearly grasping at straws. A poor, sad, pathetic man who is desperate to pin this crime on some poor bystander since he is too lazy to do any real policework!" ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Um, oh jeez. All right, lets try this again. Our conversation about the window revealed that:" ] [[The killer was a man about 5' 9", much you are]] [[The killer had a key to the door of the house, much like you do]](align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["McGumbo you make me laugh. Have you considered a career in comedy? I see nothing about the window which says anything about the height of the perpetrator! You are clearly grasping at straws. A poor, sad, pathetic man who is desperate to pin this crime on some poor bystander since he is too lazy to do any real policework!" ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Um, oh jeez. All right, lets try this again. Our conversation about the window revealed that:" ] [[The killer wore size 11 boots, much like you do]] [[The killer had a key to the door of the house, much like you do]](align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["The IRS? What, do you think that I am tax dodger? Please, McGumbo this charade is growing tiring! I'll have you know that I do in fact pay my taxes. Though if they go to funding your salary I am becoming increasingly convinced that I ought to evade next year! What a clueless accusation, and so easily disprovable!" ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Um, oh jeez. All right, lets try this again. The reason you needed money is:" ] [[Your monkey JPEGs are worthless and you're facing a margin call. I'm sure the blockchain will confirm that for us.]] [[You owe tens of thousands to the Mob. I'm sure our undercover agent will confirm that for us.]] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["The MOB?! My, Lieutenant you are simply priceless! You really are as clueless as you seem aren't you? Based on the poor quality of your policework I'd say that if one of us serves the mob it most be you, what with your shoddy, baseless accusations!"] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Um, oh jeez. All right, lets try this again. The reason you needed money is:" ] [[Your monkey JPEGs are worthless and you're facing a margin call. I'm sure the blockchain will confirm that for us.]] [[You owe tens of thousands in back taxes. I'm sure the IRS will confirm that for us.]] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Any chance you happen to have a lighter?" ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["A lighter? Why yes, I think there should be one in the kitchen. I can go grab it if you'd like, is it anything important?" ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Oh, no it's really nothing too important, I certainly don't want to be a bother. It's just that, I enjoy a cigar every once and a while. Doctor says it's not good for me but I think it helps me think. Yeah, the doc was telling me that I should try those, uh, E-Vapes. He was saying they've got all sorts of flavors and stuff but you know I really just could never get into it. Yeah, I tell you nothing really compares to just a good ol' fashion cigar for me. But uh, if it's too much trouble, really don't bother going all the way to kitchen, I'd hate to take up too much of your time." ] (align:"<==")+(box:"=X")[ "Not at all Lieutenant. I am happy to assist. Besides, in the time you've spent talking about vapes I could have easily already gone and come back!" ] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Oh geez, yeah, y'know there I go again. The missus is saying that I'm always rambling going off on tangents and whatnot. Of course, she likes it, I hardly think she woulda married me otherwise because boy I tell you sometimes I really do get carried away and..." ] (align:"==>")+(box:"=X")["I will be right back with your lighter Lieutenant!" ... "Here you are."] (align:"<==")+(box:"X=")["Beautiful, thank you, really. Now um, anyways. Back to the case at hand here. I wanted to ask you..."] [[Were you and your mother close?]] [[Gee, what happened to the window?]]